where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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