it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
we're so committed to being not committed
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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