I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize