you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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