I understand why you refuse to be sober now
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
