I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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