Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
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I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
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In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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