As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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