Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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