The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
