mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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