Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore

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  (513): i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore http://tfl.nu/1wm1
  Replies (42) Good night (935) Bad night (4213)
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  (516): View more from New York

  everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.

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  (516): everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no. http://tfl.nu/bnsc
  Replies (85) Good night (4375) Bad night (1362)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january

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  (720): I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january http://tfl.nu/n365
  Replies (18) Good night (6386) Bad night (1092)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.

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  (410): she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night. http://tfl.nu/m7fi
  Replies (5) Good night (2562) Bad night (1094)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now

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  (507): you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now http://tfl.nu/xehl
  Replies (9) Good night (3143) Bad night (1161)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.

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  (541): Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk. http://tfl.nu/effc
  Replies (6) Good night (1068) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.

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  (936): You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me. http://tfl.nu/du0t
  Replies (13) Good night (3907) Bad night (870)
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  (415): View more from California

  She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.

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  (415): She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision. http://tfl.nu/yqhh
  Replies (19) Good night (5192) Bad night (802)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy

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  (603): ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy http://tfl.nu/t11r
  Replies (13) Good night (2548) Bad night (585)
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  (516): View more from New York

  You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.

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  (516): You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off. http://tfl.nu/6qfp
  Replies (7) Good night (1698) Bad night (588)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.

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  (203): He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude. http://tfl.nu/xcp6
  Replies (3) Good night (791) Bad night (1261)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words

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  (704): She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words http://tfl.nu/kxrj
  Replies (5) Good night (915) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room

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  (506): That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room http://tfl.nu/htix
  Replies (0) Good night (405) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.

  (1-405): View more from Oklahoma

  Was it a good conversation?

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  It was an awkward, sexual conversation.

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  (405): It was like we had a conversation with our eyes. (1-405): Was it a good conversation? (405): It was an awkward, sexual conversation. http://tfl.nu/99u8
  Replies (1) Good night (639) Bad night (268)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck

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  (513): she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck http://tfl.nu/n7bl
  Replies (4) Good night (1380) Bad night (328)

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