Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...