i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
