I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother