absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.