Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn

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(859): I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn http://tfl.nu/q2bp

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.

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(978): i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite. http://tfl.nu/yk7i

Replies (22) Good night (8307) Bad night (829)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended

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(763): After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended http://tfl.nu/x97c

Replies (10) Good night (1459) Bad night (3936)
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(607): View more from New York

I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.

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(607): I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength. http://tfl.nu/np75

Replies (6) Good night (2739) Bad night (874)
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(806): View more from Texas

For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.

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(806): For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so. http://tfl.nu/nluj

Replies (7) Good night (3509) Bad night (814)
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(970): View more from Colorado

She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.

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(970): She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim. http://tfl.nu/tftc

Replies (4) Good night (999) Bad night (2517)
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(530): View more from California

When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.

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(530): When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party. http://tfl.nu/3bf6

Replies (4) Good night (906) Bad night (1731)
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(714): View more from California

If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.

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(714): If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual. http://tfl.nu/13n4

Replies (10) Good night (2573) Bad night (1372)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.

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(402): underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not. http://tfl.nu/wyas

Replies (5) Good night (1269) Bad night (706)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy

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(859): You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy http://tfl.nu/yf7q

Replies (2) Good night (2107) Bad night (718)
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(970): View more from Colorado

Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.

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(970): Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved. http://tfl.nu/n0se

Replies (4) Good night (836) Bad night (1118)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.

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(612): Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON. http://tfl.nu/8yy5

Replies (6) Good night (1054) Bad night (486)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place

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(307): He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place http://tfl.nu/50j6

Replies (4) Good night (938) Bad night (368)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?

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(630): I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about? http://tfl.nu/f79i

Replies (4) Good night (503) Bad night (570)
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(480): View more from Arizona

Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"

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(480): Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!" http://tfl.nu/823i

Replies (0) Good night (482) Bad night (313)

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