Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.