Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(304): View more from West Virginia

you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC

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(516): View more from New York

i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.

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(310): View more from California

he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(801): View more from Utah

On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?

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(509): View more from Washington

Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye

(203): View more from Connecticut

Oh.

(203): View more from Connecticut

You came to the right person.

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