Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?