A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
