Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
