You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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