I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
