Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
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