I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?