i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
