yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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