Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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