Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
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You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
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There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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