Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
