the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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