I think im going to throw up on grandma
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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