Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
