I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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