Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
