is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
