Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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