problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
