Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
birth control should be required to get into college
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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