I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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