the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Do vagina's smell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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