so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
why is half of my head shaved?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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