Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
pop tarts are not kleenex
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
