So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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