you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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