Everything about him screamed your future.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
