I wanna passion pit in your ass
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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