remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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