you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
