idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
