He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
