At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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