I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
