my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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