I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
