her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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