New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
