You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
