Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
