Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
