Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
