An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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