Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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