Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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