i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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